Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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