The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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