Soap is not a condiment
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
