my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize