Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
