I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just want nice things and good sex
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
