Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
