before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize