You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
