if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
