you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
