I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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