The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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