I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
