Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
