i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
