I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
