At least make sure they are 18
Why
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
