dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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