i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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