Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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