D3 body, D1 cock
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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