Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
