At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize