well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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