i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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