i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize