I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
