this boner is exhausting
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
