didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
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The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
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I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
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