That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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