I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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