We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
