I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
