guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
