I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
