You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize