somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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