so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
