Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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