Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize