A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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