textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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