just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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