He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Randomize
