WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
