You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
