it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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