drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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