Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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