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• (207): View more from Maine

  saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you

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• (406): View more from Montana

  he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss

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• (949): View more from California

  The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (626): View more from California

  So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Get your penis over here NOW. emergency

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You would never do this sober.

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• (818): View more from California

  So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high

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• (917): View more from New York City

  At a point I was just cumming dust last night

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