I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.