I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
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You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.