we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
