1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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