im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
