you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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