Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
