I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am naked and annoyed.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
