If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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