You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
