1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
