so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
