mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
