I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
