It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
