it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
