At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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