therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
